Arena Counseling and Wellness

Let’s Talk About Negative Self-Talk Taming Your Inner Critic

Sun, 23 Jun 2024 20:22:44 GMT

Learn how to quiet negative self-talk and start practicing self-compassion!

If you have an inner critic living rent free in your head, I’m sure that you know what that means before I even have to explain it. The inner critic is that loud, harsh, critical voice in your head that constantly highlights your insecurities and shortcomings in a way that triggers a sense of anxiety and shame. Instead of being able to learn from your mistakes, your inner critic convinces you that minor errors make you a massive failure. Your inner critic likely throws reason or logic out the window when it criticizes you, and it actively ignores the fact that you are in a life-long process of learning and growing. The inner critic lives to judge and critique you for everything you do that makes you an imperfect (and normal) human.

Taming the inner critic is no easy feat, but here are some tips for getting a handle on that overly negative self-talk that the inner critic feeds you daily.

● It’s difficult to address a problem if you don’t know what the problem is, so acknowledging the inner critic’s presence in your mind and paying attention to what your inner critic sounds like are good places to start. Maybe the inner critic is louder in social situations like when you’re talking to someone new, or maybe it weighs on you more when you make a mistake on a project at work.

● Recognizing your inner critic’s patterns of negative self-talk can help you with challenging the critical thoughts. Questioning the negative messages that the inner critic feeds you daily and challenging the thoughts with evidence to the contrary can help you with replacing that negative self-talk with a more positive and realistic internal dialogue.

● Practicing self-compassion is also a way to combat the inner critic’s negative messages. Try treating yourself with kindness and grace, just like you might treat a friend, and remind yourself that making mistakes is a natural part of learning and growing.

● Changing the way you view mistakes and failures can help you adapt a mindset that is more compassionate and understanding compared to the inner critic’s pessimistic, inconsiderate narrative. It might help to look at setbacks as opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

● Setting more realistic expectations for yourself may help you avoid the inevitable disappointment that comes when you aren’t able to live up to the inner critic’s standards of perfection. If possible, try to avoid setting unattainable goals for yourself or holding yourself to unreasonable standards.

● Having a positive support system of friends and family can be immensely helpful. However, if you’re looking for additional support or if your inner critic is severely affecting your wellbeing, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can offer support and guidance as you embark on this journey to tame your inner critic. You don’t have to go through it alone.

Taming the inner critic is a process that requires time, patience, and practice. Be gentle with yourself as you set out to tackle the negative self-talk that has been weighing you down, and celebrate every win that comes along as you work towards developing a sense of self-compassion and self-acceptance.

The Enneagram

Tue, 15 Jan 2019 15:46:00 GMT

Click the image below to follow a link to learn more about the 9 types. You can also take the RHETI and discover your type by taking the Riso-Hudson Type Indicator.

The Enneagram is a powerful tool for growth and self-reflection. Not only has it helped me personally learn more about myself and how to be a healthier version of me, I have also seen many clients benefit from its wisdom. It is not intended to box anyone in or explain everything, however it can be a great lens and provides a vocabulary with which to describe our internal experiences. It also provides ideas and feedback for growth.

The Enneagram also helps us see our own perspective more clearly as well as the perspective of others and can be incredibly helpful in understanding relationships and the different ways in which we communicate. Click on the image to begin understanding your type!

What Self Care Really Means

Wed, 26 Dec 2018 20:26:00 GMT

"Self care" has become a buzzword recently, but what does it really mean?

Click the image for an insightful article that does a great job unpacking some practical applications for your self-care routine.

Self-care can get overly simplified to bubble baths, massages, and fancy vacations. While these are important, self-care often means doing the thing we don't want to do. It means taking care of ourselves in ways that are often inconvenient or painful. It can mean turning toward the thing we would rather avoid. Self-care can look like setting a difficult boundary, saying no to something, making a phone call made we've been putting off, or confronting an uncomfortable situation. Part of the therapeutic journey is beginning to understand what our emotions are, what they're trying to communicate, and what we need to do to honor and respect ourselves. Click the image above for further exploration of what self-care can look like for you.

Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 18:25:00 GMT

If you only listen to one TED Talk in your life, choose this one.

Brene Brown does a beautiful job of unpacking vulnerability and why it's so important in our lives and relationships.

Vulnerability. It's a word that can make many of us uncomfortable. Often life has taught us that vulnerability is what gets us hurt, that it's to be avoided. Vulnerability, however, is also what allows us to connect. Without it, we are alone and disconnected; this can often be followed by symptoms of anxiety and depression. Connection is essential to our health and well-being, and to get connection, we have to be willing to turn towards some vulnerability. Click the image above to listen to Brene drop some wisdom on this difficult, yet crucial, topic.